What are your reasons?

This afternoon, i experienced something which i can only describe as an encounter with God. And it all stemmed from one simple question.

It was just after lunch and my colleagues and i were walking back to the office. I was chatting with one of them and somehow the chat came round to me sharing with her how a Christian's walk is difficult at times. I was explaining (or more like whining) how my relationship with God was not getting anywhere. Then came the question - why do you seek to deepen your relationship with Him? Is it to find contentment or peace. Ok, i don't exactly remember how the question sounded like but it meant something like the above. My first answer was rather lame, amounting to something that sounded like "Yes, sort of". But as i sat at my cubicle, i couldn't seem to stop thinking about it, wondering how i could have given a better answer.

And so, there i was trying to think of a good textbook like answer. I began to draw an analogy to our relationship with our physical earthly father. And then, suddenly i began to realize that all this while, i never truly knew what i was doing and the reasons for doing it. "Why do you seek to deepen your relationship with God?". I never really knew or understood why. Perhaps it is because that was what people said was the right thing to do. Pursue God, improve your relationship with Him. But what are one's own reasons for that?

Finally, i realized what the answer was. It's very simple really. What are some of the things that form the basis of all relationships? Love, trust, understanding and respect for each other are some of it. When you love someone, be it your parents, other family members, your significant other or even your friends, wouldn’t you try to get to know them better, understand a little more about what makes them tick, put your trust in them and respect them for who they are? If you love your parents, you would also obey them and trust them to know what's best for you. And so it is with our heavenly Father. You want to get to know Him better, understand Him, put your trust in Him, share your life with Him. And because you respect and fear Him, you obey Him and try to be like Him. A healthy relationship should be not just one sided but interactive and continually growing. So why does one pursue a deeper relationship with Jesus? Simply because you love Him. You don't do it because someone else told you to do it. You don't seek His face just because your friends are doing it and it seems like the right thing to do. No...you do it, simply out of your love for Him.

I felt that burden to put down my thoughts in writing and so that's what i did. I emailed my colleague with whatever i could share. Most of it is up there but the version here has been tweaked to reflect as best as possible of what was truly an encounter with God. I truly believe that He was speaking to me through that very simple question. Simply amazing how that touch comes when you least expect it.

Desire

In this journey I call my life, i wonder where along the way i stumbled and lost a little something. More exactly where and when. That little something which i could not properly word or name until today's sermon by Pastor Michael Koh...desire.

For a while now, i've felt jaded a little more than once. Nothing seems to excite me that much anymore, except for one or two things that come along once in a while. Indifference, boredom, hollowness, directionless...a few of the words that might fit the description of what i sometimes experience these days. And in more than one occasion, i have felt my own self being contradictory...yearning for company and yet isolating or distancing myself when the opportunity comes. I just confuse myself.

Desire. Where and when did i start to lose that, even for the little things i used to like so much. When did it all suddenly lose its meaning or did it happen so subtly and gradually that i couldn't notice. Only when i heard today's message that i realized what it is i had lost. Desire. A desire for life...for life's little things, for the things that make us who we are; the hobbies, the interests, the wishes that defines a person...when did that disappear?

Perhaps i've settled in so comfortably that i cannot move anymore. Perhaps it was disappointments as Pastor Michael mentioned. Whatever it may be, i need to feel desire again, no matter how little. I need to find something to get enthused in again, to force myself to commit to it until i feel it in me again. Then maybe somewhere along the way, i will finally encounter God...and finally feel that i am truly alive again.

Hypocrite?

Sometimes i wonder if i'm just a big hypocrite. I know what and what not i should be doing and yet sometimes i do what i know is wrong. The past couple of days, i was trying to give some so-called advice to a friend and i ended up realizing that i wasn't practising what i was preaching. It's so easy to tell others what to do but what's the use when you don't even apply it in your own life? It's about time i took my own advice...

On another note, i'm wondering if i should continue this blog now that the Georise chapter is finished. Since the main objective of setting up this blog has been achieved, there seems to be no point in keeping it alive. Why? For one, there's hardly anyone who reads it and 2. i don't know if i have the motivation to keep it going. So...what next?

Georise - The final chapter

Days 72 to 100, 18th Apr to 16th May 2009:

Finally, the last post for the Georise programme. What took me so long you ask? More work and activities as usual which took up most of my time and energy. Oh, and not to mention cooking (which takes up at least 2 hours of my time). After all that, i just didn't feel like i had anything left in me to put up a new post. That, and the fact that it takes me ages just to write one because i can be pretty long winded.

Anyway, this is the last post on my adventures in Texas. I actually got back on the afternoon of the 18th of May but only got round to putting together this post now (due to laziness this time). Since it's been more than a month since the previous post, i will not go into details and just give a short outline of what's happened during that time.

Since the Easter holiday, we've watched a baseball game, gone to the aquarium, attended an Irish festival and visited the Johnson Space Center. To be honest, the baseball game was one of the most boring i've ever watched. Then again, baseball is boring if you don't really know anything about it. But the tickets we bought were for charity, so it was also for a good cause. The game was on a rainy Friday night and Neil (our lecturer) was kind enough to let us go early.

The Houston Astros vs. the Cincinnati Reds (i think)

The following day was also a gloomy one so it was good that the places we were going to were indoors. We went to the aquarium located in Downtown Houston and it was another ho-hum affair. Well, it was just so-so for me but the others found it rather disappointing. The visit took up about 2 hours if i remember correctly. We followed up with a visit to the Museum of Sciences since we were downtown. We didn't actually go into the museum since by the time we got there, it was about an hour and a half to closing time and the museum employee advised us to come another day since that amount of time was not enough to cover the entire museum. I never did manage to visit it after that, though a few of the others did i think.

One of the tanks in the aquarium

The following weekend, we were in Downtown again to attend an Irish Festival. Every year, the city would host an international festival and this year the focus was on Ireland. It wasn't entirely Irish though; there was a South American and Jamaican section as well as some other countries (which i can't quite remember now...blame it on my short term memory). Again, it didn't exactly turn out to be a super fun weekend.

Some kids performing an Irish dance

For our second last weekend in Houston, Jocelyn, Melanie and I finally went to NASA. Most of the others had already been there in the weeks before that. Shifa hadn't been there before but she decided to join the three others who were making a trip to the Six Flags Theme Park in San Antonio on the same day. I would have really loved to go but i was no longer in any mood to make such a long trip and frankly, between NASA and an amusement park, i decided that there probably wouldn't be many other chances to visit NASA in the future compared to an amusement park. Was it worth it then? I definitely had no regrets. It was educational yet interesting and we spent six hours at the Johnson Space Center because it really took that long to cover everything...well, almost everything.

One of the displays in the Johnson Space Center

The actual Mission Control Center - it's empty because it's a Saturday

The actual Saturn V rocket

It was now the second last week in Houston and we were all rushing to finish our processing reports. Half of us were trying to finish it before the weekend in order to have a free final weekend in Houston but i knew i couldn't finish by then. I was quite tired by now with all the brain activity during the weekdays and going out in the weekends that i did not have much left in me to try and complete it after work hours. So i settled for using part of my weekend to finish the report. Even though it had been a phenomenal experience so far, i was looking forward to going home. Before all of us were to go home though, we held a BBQ by the swimming pool in Briar Forest on that second last Friday. Almost everyone got wet (a few involuntarily) but i managed to sneak away before i got dragged in. Frankly, i was pooped as well and went straight to bed after showering.

We handed in our reports on the final Tuesday and everyone immediately felt a sense of relief. No more assignments, presentations or reports. Like me, some of the others couldn't wait to get home as well. And so, the Georise programme came to a close on Friday. More pictures were taken and 'Thank You' cards were presented to the administrators of the training programme. During these last few days, i did some last minute (and i really mean last minute) gift shopping and was again reminded why i hate shopping for gifts. I was even shopping on Saturday afternoon, a few hours before we were to fly. And that Friday evening after the final class, we were in Walmart for the last time to get some chocolates for our office colleagues. After that, it was just down to Melanie and myself making a trip to a shopping mall in Sugarland in order to get a Coach handbag that her friend had asked her to help buy for his wife. Such expensive things these bags...

That last night, a few of us gathered at the pool again to just chat and hang out together for the last time. We didn't really do anything else except chat. A little after 10pm, we got ready to leave and finish our packing. Goodbyes, hugs and even a little bit of French style cheek-to-cheek greetings were exchanged. And that was it...the end of an extraordinary experience of a lifetime. I would say we gained a lot more than just knowledge and skills for our work. The friendships we forged and the experiences we went through will surely be etched in our hearts forever. And if ever we forget (God forbid), there's still all those insanely huge amount of pictures to remind us :)

Easter weekend

Days 64 to 71, 10th to 17th Apr 2009:

Good Friday, a holiday here in the States. All of us had plans for the slightly longer weekend. The previous night after class, i sent Shifa, Su Yin and Jocelyn to the airport as they were going to Los Angeles. Shangar, Irwin, Magda and Lukasz were off to Mexico; Omon and Wen Ting were going to Dallas while Melissa and her boyfriend were going to Big Bend (a national park). So what was i up to then? For practically the first time, i actually opted to go camping. This from a guy who didn't even want to go to Taman Negara. Guess people change when they grow older, ha ha.

So at 6am Friday morning, i found myself behind the wheel with Hannah, Cécile and Melanie on the way to our first activity for the day - kayaking in Bastrop, a small town near Austin. After about two hours, we switched drivers and arrived in Bastrop with an hour to spare before the actual kayaking. Bastrop is a nice quiet little town where the buildings were charming. Of course, there is also a modern part where you could find a Walmart and other large retail stores. We had a bite and coffee at the local diner and it was quite a comfy and welcoming diner in my opinion.

With our stomachs filled and the girls charged with their daily dose of caffeine, we proceeded to the office of Rising Phoenix Adventures. From there, we were bundled into a van with a family of four and taken to the river where we were to start our little adventure. Along the way, our friendly kayak instructor, Bill fed us bits and pieces of interesting information about Bastrop.

After receiving some final advice and instruction from Bill, we pushed off. I was in a tandem kayak with Melanie as she was not confident to kayak alone. The river was suitable for beginners like ourselves as the flow of water was slow to medium and in certain areas was relatively calm. The family of four went ahead of us and was soon out of sight while we paddled slowly and just took in everything...it was just really relaxing and a change to be out here. We saw a lot of tortoises sunbathing and managed to snap some pictures of them. We even encountered some snakes and looking back, i realised i shouldn't have gotten so close to them. Cécile was closest to them and was taking some pics of them when i butted in, putting her at risk. Lucky for us the snakes just escaped into the water instead of retaliating.

A paddling we go

Attempt at an artistic shot :p

The other two lovely ladies

We took approximately a little over two hours to finish the course, since we were just leisurely paddling and drifting away. It was a truly relaxing and good experience. With the first activity completed, we continued our journey on the road to Pedernales Falls State Park, which was where we were to camp. Along the way, we stopped at another recreational park to have our lunch which consisted mainly of bagels and sardines.

It took us about an hour plus to reach Pedernales. After checking in at the rangers' office, we continued to the primitive camp site (meaning no bathrooms but with a chemical toilet nearby). It was a two mile hike from the parking area to the camp site, which took us about half an hour to 45 minutes if i remember correctly. The remainder of the evening was spent setting up the tents we rented. I had no previous experience with tents and sad to say didn't really manage to help much with setting it up, except for taking them out of their bags and spreading it out. The girls had a three-man tent, while i had a two-man all to myself. Dinner was again bagels and sardines, with some other side stuff. We retired early that evening, going to bed around 8.30pm.

Wolf Mountain Trail, our home for the next two nights

My two-man tent...which Cécile set-up while i was trying to set-up the other tent

The next morning, we hiked along Wolf Mountain trail. It was quiet and serene with the occasional bird chirps. We didn't really see any animals apart from birds though and that was a bit disappointing. The only other fauna we saw was a deer during our hike to the camping site the previous evening.

Hiking along the trail

After about two hours of hiking, we hiked back to the parking area and drove along the road to Pedernales Falls as there wasn't much to see if we hiked there. After parking, the falls were just a short hike away. It was rather a nice place, though did not quite fit in with my idea of waterfalls like the ones i'd seen in Malaysia. For one, the falls weren't exactly rushing at high speed (though there were flash flood warnings posted around the area) and the water was green instead of crystal clear due to the low energy in the pools. Still, it was beautiful and serene. There were quite a number of people about; some with kids, others with dogs. We picked a spot and sat down to a lunch of...yup, you guessed it...bagels with sardines (Cécile had pita bread though).

Pedernales Falls

After our 'sumptious' lunch, we continued to hike downstream in search of an area called Cypress Pool, which was supposed to have a scenic lookout point. We didn't really find it, or else we passed it without knowing so finally we hiked back to the parking area via a different route. We had already done quite a fair bit of walking so far, but we weren't finished yet. We got into the car and drove to another camping site, one with bathrooms and toilets and designated lots for people's RVs (Recreational Vehicles, sort of like a mobile home/camper on wheels). There were quite a number of people here, mostly families and their dogs. After parking at a suitable place, we journeyed on to Trummel Crossing, a place where we could cross Pedernales River. We had to take our shoes off to avoid getting it wet and boy was the water cold or what! So cold, to the point that my feet nearly went numb after that and yet kind of refreshing. From there on, we continued our hiking and chatting until it started to rain. Cécile and I had both brought our umbrellas so we shared it with the other two girls. Another hour or two passed by before we finished our little tour and went back to the car. At this point, we were quite tired so we decided to take a shower and call it a day.

That night, it rained but i was ready for the colder temperature as i had rented a sleeping bag (designed for freezing weather). During the night, I was woken by rustling sounds. Some unknown creature was scavenging for food in our trash bag and quite frankly, it was a bit scary listening to the sounds. As i later found out, both Hannah and Cécile were also awake and feeling the same way. It was so quiet that i could even later hear the creature sniffing around close to my tent. The only one who slept through the entire incident was Melanie. We never did guess what it was that ransacked our garbage bag.

Morning arrived and the sky was still gloomy. I didn't exactly have the world's best sleep with the hard ground sticking into my back and waking up each time it rained but i was rested enough. With the threat of rain again looming, we quickly started packing and taking down the tents. Sure enough, it rained halfway through our packing. It only stopped after we had started our hike back to the car.

With our plans to visit Enchanted Rock threatened by rain and shortage of time, we decided to just head home and stop along the way at any place that was interesting. After breakfast at another area close to the modern camp site called Twin Falls, we started our drive home. Talks of having a huge and greasy Texas BBQ meal began circulating after almost three days of only bagels, powerbars and sardines. So a stop at one of the BBQ restaurants we saw on our way here earlier was planned.

A little before lunch hour, we pulled into McKinney Falls State Park to have a look. The sun was out in full strength now and the threat of a storm that was predicted a few days earlier had seemed to pass. Feeling encouraged, we took our swimsuits along as we hiked a short distance to the lower falls area. The girls didn't hesitate to plunge right in while i decided not to as i was a bit squeamish after seeing the green water, ha ha.

Group picture time at McKinney

After getting their fill, we got back on the road. Talks of Texas food resurfaced as everyone was now getting hungry. We passed one or two restaurants on our way out of Bastrop but decided to go for the next one we could find, which was about an hour later and closed as it was Easter Sunday. Finally, we scrapped the idea and stopped at a restaurant called Schobel's sometime around 3pm. After three days of bagels, the food was a welcome change. With our hunger satisfied, we continued home and arrived in Houston around 5pm.

Monday the 13th of April came and we were back in class. With the theoretical part behind us, now the real processing had begun. Everybody was still high off their respective holiday adventures and not exactly looking forward to class. But go to class we did. The rest of the week was spent scratching our heads trying to get used to how the processing works. Essentially, it was a little like programming and we had to learn how to code and modify the scripts to get the jobs to run. Rather hard at first, especially if you need to code it from scratch but gradually became easier as we only had to modify existing scripts. Still, it can be quite interesting, so we'll see what lies ahead of us in our final four weeks.

Breathe again

Days 49 to 63, 26th Mar to 9th Apr 2009:

If you've been wondering why it has taken me so long to update my blog, it's mainly because of a rather packed schedule the past two weeks. That, added with a little exhaustion have helped to delay the updates.

It's been two weeks of trying to finish off our second presentation, which is a lot more technical and specific. Everybody was a little stressed out since most of us had a bit of a hard time trying to understand what we were going to present. A second test looming over the horizon didn't exactly help ease the situation. Somehow though, we managed to find a little R&R amidst the chaos.

Half of the group made a day trip to San Antonio on the 28th of Mar, which was a Saturday. It turned out to be great timing as there was a street fair and market being held (apparently on every last Saturday of every month. I don't know if it was just because of the fair but the Downtown San Antonio seemed a lot more alive than Downtown Houston.

While we were there, we visited the Alamo, strolled along the River Walk, went through La Villita and finally dropped by the Cathedral of San Fernando. The Alamo is a historic place where the most famous battle of the Texas Revolution took place (i had to Wikipedia that up, he he). The River Walk (which is probably my most favourite part of San Antonio thus far) is a beautiful network of walkways along the banks of the San Antonio River. It has many restaurants and cafes along the walk and it is just that nice. I wouldn't mind revisiting it if i had the chance. La Villita is a historical arts village but we basically just passed through there. Our final stop was at the Cathedral of San Fernando which played a role in the Battle of the Alamo. There's just too much too describe but i guess i won't bore you with the details. In short, the trip to San Antonio was well worth the three hour drive from Houston.

The Torch of Friendship

The Alamo - no pictures were allowed inside the building

The streets close to the Alamo where the street fair was being held

Taking a cruise down the River Walk. Our boat driver cum guide was quite a funny guy

The Cathedral of San Fernando

Reality sank in after the trip as we worked to prepare our presentation. We also took another test on Friday and thankfully, it wasn't hard. The review before the test helped a lot. We celebrated by going for a dinner in a fancy French restaurant. By fancy, i really meant a little bit more pricey :) The food was quite good though.

The following Saturday, about half of the group took a day trip to Austin. This time, i did not follow, as tempting as it was because i was tired and had to finish up my presentation for the following Wednesday. From the others, i heard that Austin is another great place to live in. Too bad...at least i had my rest though.

Our presentation was split into two mornings and mine was on the second morning. Everyone was feeling quite nervous but thankfully, it didn't really show for most people. I didn't really practice that much and relied on whatever little i could remember in my brain. Praise God i managed to pull it off without really feeling nervous mentally. However, my body seemed to think otherwise as i was sweating almost profusely. In any case, i'm just glad that that's finally over and here i am again :)

A good but tiring weekend

Days 42 to 48, 19th to 25th Mar 2009:

Nothing much to blog on the class, we just continued on the fundamentals of processing Geophysics. The evening of Friday after class turned out to be a trip to the Memorial City Mall. Some of the girls wanted to go shopping for work clothes and i didn't really mind going so i tagged along. Ok, maybe tagged along isn't exactly the right word since i was the one driving...chauffeur would be more suitable. While waiting for the girls to finish shopping, i ended up getting a shirt as well. I got a couple of fridge magnets as well for my mom and sis.

After that, i had to send Su Yin back to her unit at Westheimer and took the opportunity to borrow her toilet as i was in need of one. After that, the 3 girls just took to chatting and i was stuck there for about 2 hours, watching tv while the girls chatted.

Saturday the 20th saw some of us going to the beach in Galveston. We started out a bit shaky, losing some time trying to find our way there but eventually we got there. The morning was a bit gloomy but thankfully the weather turned out sunny when we arrived at the beach. The guys just went straight for the water while the rest stretched out and enjoyed the sun. Later on, we had some fun burying Shangar in the sand and i really mean we had fun with the sand. I'll spare the details since i think i've already done enough damage with the photos i posted in Facebook, ha ha.

The beach, the beach!

Snacking and enjoying the sun

Fun with sand and Shangar :)

After about 3 hours at the beach, we went to The Strand, a famous street of sorts in Galveston. I'm not exactly sure what it's famous for, perhaps it's the old buildings but it wasn't bad. Got a couple more fridge magnets before we headed home at about 6pm.

A part of The Strand

Short carriage rides along the street for USD25

The next day, it was a trip to the rodeo. It was the very last day of the rodeo, so we didn't want to miss it. And there was more than one red face that day from the previous day's outing. Magda O was quite red or like a beetroot in her own words.

At the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, there were carnival stalls, livestock (such as cattle) on display and of course, the rodeo. I went straight from church to the place with Omon while the others all came together, so i didn't really see them until the rodeo started at 3.45pm. We spent too much time walking in the carnival area and lost the chance to view the livestock and browse through the merchandise in another part of the area.

The rodeo was quite interesting as we watched events such as bull riding, chuck wagon racing, calf scramble and mutton bustin'. Bull riding is quite a dangerous sport but there were a few funny moments here and there. Calf scramble was another interesting event as the participants (all teens) had to catch a calf. It was a charity event as scramblers who manage to catch a calf will get a USD1,500 certificate to purchase a registered beef heifer. They will then be able to care for and raise the heifer until they return to the Houston Livestock Show the following year for a special competition. It was quite funny to see the 28 teens trying to catch 14 calves; some wrestling was definitely needed and it was also great to see the girls having no problems matching the boys. Mutton bustin' involved kids clinging to sheep, kind of like a kids version of bull riding. The kids latch onto the sheep and hold on for as long as they can. The eventual winner turned out to be a 5-year old girl :)

The rodeo finished off with a rock concert by ZZ Top. Yup, i don't know who they are too (i think most Malaysians don't). They turned out to be quite old guys; the two lead singers had really long white beards. They're quite big over here, but some of the other Georisers like JB have also heard of them. Not exactly my kind of music, but it was ok all the same. Even though it was a very loud rock concert, Shifa and Su Yin actually managed to fall asleep, ha ha.

After the concert, we were almost ready to go home when Hannah asked if anybody was interested in going for a ride on one of the attractions at the carnival. Cecile, JB and myself volunteered and we all had a go at the ride, called Tango which was this contraption with an arm that split into three limbs that lifted its occupants in the air and spins them around. It wasn't exactly that exhilirating and it was a bit short but it was still quite fun especially if you're not going at it alone. I bet it cleared up Hannah's runny nose for a while, ha ha.

The board says it all

Carnival!

Bull riding

Calf scramble

ZZ Top doing their thing

Monday came again and i seemed to be extremely tired from the weekend's activities. Somehow, i still managed to make it through the day without embarassing myself. By Tuesday, i was fresh again and had no problems concentrating on the class. No more packed weekends after this!

Today, the housing management of the Marquis held a small welcome reception and dinner for all of us. It was a nice gesture i must say and i didn't need to cook dinner, ha ha. Of course, this also means that tomorrow's lunch will probably be a microwave meal. I wonder how i'm going to finish the chicken i bought...